Wednesday, May 16, 2012


date: Sat, 23 Sep 2000 13:18:04 +0100 (GMT Daylight Time)
from: (Frans Berkhout)
subject: Re: Tyndall A4 flier
to: (Mike Hulme)

A few quick comments on the draft text of the flyer:
1. Identify the audience who it's for first - at present it feels a
little like it's in 'proposal to NERC' mode. I think the audience is a
high-level policy maker or a corporate executive we're tapping for
funding. This means it has to be a bit looser and punchier, using
active verbs, short sentences and all that (somewhere between the Daily
Mail and the Telegraph). You may want a professional writer on the job
- how about sending it to Simon Torok?
2. It reads as though it is written for a UK audience - someone in Costa
Rica should be able to identify with the flyer if it comes their way.
3. The Tyndall Centre IS organised (column2)(that word 'currently'
sounds as though you haven't decided what we are going to do).
4. I think the first column could be one section, and drop the 'vision
statement' tag - it sounds a bit 1990s.
5. The subtitle 'integrated research for sustainable responses..' is a
bit laboured. How about 'Science. Integration. Sustainability'?
5. I think 'associated activities' sounds a bit arms-length. How about
'Delivering Solutions' or 'Engaging Users'? Also, I think that 'public
understanding of science' doesn't quite capture what will be going on.
Tyndall will be an important participant in public debate and thereby
improve it, rather than the pedagogic PUS model.
All the best

Dr Frans Berkhout
Environment Programme
SPRU-Science and Technology Policy Research
Mantell Building
University of Sussex
Brighton BN1 9RF

Tel: +44 1273 877 130
Fax: +44 1273 685 865

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